bus blog-"you know where you are? You're in the jungle baby"

In all the years I have lived here, almost six in total, I have found that the biggest concentration of crazy is in Westwood. The poor poor parents from Kansas who drop off their child at UCLA and go have that final teary farewell dinner at CPK to only be confronted by Spanish Apocalypse man.

"Y Dios envie un gran terramoto en orden a limpiar el mundo de pecado!!! Arrepentirse ahora!!! Ahora es su ultimo opportunidad, Ahora Ahora Arrenppentirse!!!"

And he says this 6 inches from your face.

There is the guy in dreds that smells like a ferret, that has several plastic bags tied around his ankles, wrists and chest, who is actually a pretty good gangsta rapper.

And a whole other cast of characters that have nothing to do with one of the most awesome homeless person performances that I witnessed while waiting for the 761 last week.

This large woman rolls up her grocery cart to the corner of Lindbrook and Westwood, composes herself for a moment and like she is in her own private flashmob, starts march dancing, pulls out a black and yellow ping pong paddle and with her ping pong paddle arm outstretched she starts mumble singing Gun's and Roses' seminal hit "Welcome to the Jungle"

At first I don't know what it is she is singing exactly. It sounds like:

"Welcome to the HEE-HAW. Sprata brata GAMES. We got everything you huh? We got everything you huh?
(and the ping pong paddle goes shaking upward)

"schmee schmee figging huh"

and skips ahead to the part she knows and says "You know where ya arhh, you in the jungle BABAY, you gonna dieeeee!!"

And it was amazing, that was until a Westwood Community patrol person tells her to move along and she goes after him for 5 minutes straight, talking to him, but talking to the air and she can't let it go, until the approaching bus changes her focus.

bus blog-tonight i'm going to party like it's 1899

She gets on the 20 hair long, white, crimped and matted like a poodle. A little ziggy stardust. She wears a brocade jacket and pirate shirt a la Prince during his revolution days. In fact that is what she looks like "the Piratetess of the MTA"

She is carrying a box that says Med-Ex. The bus driver mumbles something after her and she doesn't turn but holds up her hand to dismiss him.

"I don't have it." She barks.

I can only assume that she means the fare, but I realize later that it could be her shoes ... or maybe her right eye which looks hollow and crudely covered up by small butterfly bandages. Maybe she lost her patch somewhere.

She stands next to the seat one bare foot up, next to the box of MedEx. I am not sure, but what I can see from my seat is that she proceeds to rub lotion onto her feet until I get off the bus.

be careful where you sit.

same _____ time same _____channel

I saw a young boy in a Batman costume leading his blind grandmother through Union Station. LA is filled with little moments like this, you just have to pay attention.

bus blog- la fuerza del sino

I met a man in the witness protection program.

We both weren't supposed to be there. I went home sick, he missed his bus.

Were inseparable for a while, but then he disappeared.

I never had the opportunity to learn his last name.

Bus blog-Good clear sound

I have noticed a lot more people speaking Nahuatl on the Sunset bus.

LA on the cheap-oil barons really know how to do it up

There is a white city on a hill, a hill you can only get to by taking a train into the sky.

Sounds like the beginning of a puff-esque children's story, but in actuality it is just the Getty Center, which by far is one of the greatest places to see in LA on the cheap. Sure the cost of parking goes up and up, but if you bring friends it isn't so bad.

When you get to see the views of ocean, mountains, city it is worth it. When you get to see the Irises it is worth it. When you see something made by hand in 1100 a.d. it is worth it. The blueberry apple pie is worth it. Then you forget the $15 for a car full of your friends.

I highly recommend spending a couple hours devouring the 200 piece "engaged observers", by far my favorite photo exhibit I have seen and it is so much to digest that it will get its very own post.

This weekend the Getty continues with their Saturdays off the 405 with a free concert from Bomba Estereo

cost: $15 for parking, but after 5:PM it is Freeeeeeeeeeee! (coincidentally the concert starts after 5)
Also on the 761 line, (but this is consistently inconsistent)

bus blog- interesting tattoos

I was on the bus yesterday with a charming young man with a tattoo that read "fuck a bitch" on his neck.

I hope he is blessed with many daughters.

Bus blog-things are not always as they seem

Riding down Hollywood Boulevard is always an interesting experience, as any of you know who have ever visited this area as a tourist or native. This day in particular I was riding the 212 or the 217, I can't remember, from the heart of touristville on Hollywood and Highland. I was listening to my ipod but bookless this time. (I like to have both usually, because crazy people are attracted to me. I had someone come up to me once that was convinced that I was Dulcinea del Toboso ) When I am sans book, I like to watch the people who come and go, as I am sure most people do. Especially in this area because you never quite know which character (literally) will join the bus riders.

Somewhere on Sunset a young mother, with a baby bjorn strapped to her chest, got on the bus. What attracted me to this young mother out of all of the other hundreds of young mothers that ride the bus daily, was that she was dressed very much like Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez(In the aint 2 proud 2 beg days), even down to the pacifier on a string around her neck, now a functioning piece of jewelery for the wee one she was carrying. What kept me drawn to her was how loudly she was fussing over her baby, almost like she was showing off her new motherhood to everyone who was within listening distance. I noticed how the mother and daughter had the same hat, how cute. I was realizing that I was obviously staring and looked away, but thought about how throughout the entire coo-fest that the baby never made a sound, not a squeal, laugh or anything which is odd.

I turned back to look at the mother and child and saw that the baby had blond hair and as I looked closer she didn't even have the same skin color as her mother and as the mother rocked back and forth, I realized that the baby was in fact a doll.

Bus blog-:(

No one waiting for the MTA looks happy, least of all me.